The Dwayne “Rock” Johnson Makes Volcano Without The Volcano; Calls it San Andreas

By Cameron Heffernan

A preview for The Dwayne Johnson Vs. a earthquake thriller that is, “San Andreas”.

The Dwayne decided, after conquering Greece, the illegal street racing circuit, Cobra Command, Smarks, and the world of identity theft and early ’90s body builders crime, it’s time to kick the shit out of some natural disasters.

Dwayne kicks it off as Search and Rescue chopper pilot, Ray, who discovers that the San Andreas fault is popping off and ripping shit up in SoCal. Only him, his sweet muscles and awesome chopper skills can save, himself, Paul Giamatti, that one woman from True Detective (Alexandra Daddario), and that dude who plays Speedy on Arrow (Colton Haynes).

By no means does this look like a good movie. But as The Dwayne has proven before, he could make the act of him crushing walnuts between his thighs, a fun and action-packed event. I love The Dwayne, please come back to wrestling and add some sort of interest to everything. Dolph Ziggler can only do so much. Sorry… got off track there. Either way, we’ve got till next summer on this one, and by then the actual San Andreas fault may have already torn asunder the entire west coast.

On a side not: It was a real bummer when this didn’t turn out to be some well hidden Grand Theft Auto movie. As great as this looks, the Rock as CJ from San Andreas – although he’s black, and not Rock-black, but full-black, would be sweet. If for no apparent reason other than, why the hell not.

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