The Hollywood experts at Hefferbrew sit down to discuss the nominees as well as the usual snubs. They also forget to talk about the dick poop blunder, but they don’t forget Nightcrawler Lego Movie and Gone Girl, much like the Academy did.
We here at HefferBrew realize that we’ve really fallen off the face of the earth.
Unfortunately, running something like this – with jobs in the industry already – it’s been more tedious than usual to keep our site updated (who wants to write for fun when your actual job is writing, ya know?). We realize that not all, but a select few, may like to frequent our site for humorous evaluations of the top stories in sports, entertainment and sports entertainment (Wrasslin if you’re nasty), and we’ve failed them.
We realize that the Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak was defeated,and now sits at 21-1. We also recognize that we dropped the ball with reactions to this. We will do better. Besides, we all know it wasn’t supposed to happen like that and we need to rest in a corner, sobbing like the children we are.
We also realize, the NBA Playoffs have begun – and as we like to consider ourselves NBA aficionados – we will return to our usual, rigorous coverage starting next week.
In fact that’s what this sort of, “mission statement,” is.
We’re sorry and we’re going to try our best to be a top-notch site that the masses can go to for humorous evaluation of sports, entertainment and sports entertainment.
Also, we realize there has been a metric shit-ton of movies that have released and the only one we’ve covered is LEGO Movie. So here’s a quick rundown of some movies that we’ve seen.
Grand Budapest Hotel: If you’ve ever wanted to see Wes Anderson out of the box, this is it. It’s still very Wes Anderson-y, but with a lot of violence.
Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SHIT IS THE BEST. IT’S GOT ALL THE EXPLOSIONS AND COMPUTER HEADS AND OTHER SHIT THAT’S STRAIGHT UP BAD-MOTHERFUCKING-ASS. Also, IT’S GOT A CHASE SCENE THAT WILL BLOW OUT YOUR BRAINS WITH IT’S AWESOMENESS.
Ride Along: Kevin Hart can literally do anything right now and it will open strong at the box office, his following is loyal and he seems to be in a zone right now, whoever thought of pairing him with Ice Cube for a buddy-cop comedy should be given a pay raise. Ice Cube even looks right at the camera and says “I gotta say, today was a good day.”
Frozen: Don’t be shocked when Disney announces a spin-off starring Olaf the Snowman. That thing was adorable. The rest of the movie, while I’m not the likely demographic (over a billion in box office grosses and the title of “highest grossing animated film ever” will attest to that) there’s been better recent additions to the animation genre.
Need for Speed: So you’re telling me that I don’t get a “Fast & Furious” movie until 2015, but in its’ place I get Aaron Paul starring as a con driving across country in a modded out Mustang that goes 234mph in a film in which all the car chases/stunts/crashes are 100% real. That’s a fair trade if I’ve ever heard one so turn your brain off and have two hours of fun.
Her: I’m so glad Joaquin Phoenix dropped the live-art performance thing he was doing where he pretended to be starting a rap career. In “Her” he carries the majority of the movie sharing the screen with only the voice of Scarlett Johansson and he does so with such ease, making you fully believe and feel for his character. More important than that, he sells you entirely on the plot, no matter how out there it gets from the get-go.