We Want to Make a Movie With Nicolas Cage

By Dustin Brewer

Attention world: We here at HefferBrew are on a mission: we want to make contact with Nicolas Cage and then work with him to create the greatest movie ever. We’ve got the ideas, read on and then help us make this happen.

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Superhero Movies, Mostly Super Suck

By Gavin Muirhead

Avoid being tricked into spending your hard-earned money on every single superhero movie to come out this summer. Gavin looks at how most of the time, the sky high expectations set by awesome trailers or other successful films in the genre, can never be met.

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A New Leaf For HefferBrew

By HefferBrew

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We here at HefferBrew realize that we’ve really fallen off the face of the earth.

Unfortunately, running something like this – with jobs in the industry already – it’s been more tedious than usual to keep our site updated (who wants to write for fun when your actual job is writing, ya know?). We realize that not all, but a select few, may like to frequent our site for humorous evaluations of the top stories in sports, entertainment and sports entertainment (Wrasslin if you’re nasty), and we’ve failed them.

We realize that the Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak was defeated,and now sits at 21-1.¬† We also recognize that we dropped the ball with reactions to this. We will do better. Besides, we all know it wasn’t supposed to happen like that and we need to rest in a corner, sobbing like the children we are.

We also realize, the NBA Playoffs have begun Рand as we like to consider ourselves NBA aficionados Рwe will return to our usual, rigorous coverage  starting next week.

In fact that’s what this sort of, “mission statement,” is.

We’re sorry and we’re going to try our best to be a top-notch site that the masses can go to for humorous evaluation of sports, entertainment and sports entertainment.

Also, we realize there has been a metric shit-ton of movies that have released and the only one we’ve covered is LEGO Movie. So here’s a quick rundown of some movies that we’ve seen.

Cameron:

Grand Budapest Hotel: If you’ve ever wanted to see Wes Anderson out of the box, this is it. It’s still very Wes Anderson-y, but with a lot of violence.

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SHIT IS THE BEST. IT’S GOT ALL THE EXPLOSIONS AND COMPUTER HEADS AND OTHER SHIT THAT’S STRAIGHT UP BAD-MOTHERFUCKING-ASS. Also, IT’S GOT A CHASE SCENE THAT WILL BLOW OUT YOUR BRAINS WITH IT’S AWESOMENESS.

Dustin:

Ride Along: Kevin Hart can literally do anything right now and it will open strong at the box office, his following is loyal and he seems to be in a zone right now, whoever thought of pairing him with Ice Cube for a buddy-cop comedy should be given a pay raise. Ice Cube even looks right at the camera and says “I gotta say, today was a good day.”

Frozen: Don’t be shocked when Disney announces a spin-off starring Olaf the Snowman. That thing was adorable. The rest of the movie, while I’m not the likely demographic (over a billion in box office grosses and the title of “highest grossing animated film ever” will attest to that) there’s been better recent additions to the animation genre.

Need for Speed: So you’re telling me that I don’t get a “Fast & Furious” movie until 2015, but in its’ place I get Aaron Paul starring as a con driving across country in a modded out Mustang that goes 234mph in a film in which all the car chases/stunts/crashes are 100% real. That’s a fair trade if I’ve ever heard one so turn your brain off and have two hours of fun.

Her: I’m so glad Joaquin Phoenix dropped the live-art performance thing he was doing where he pretended to be starting a rap career. In “Her” he carries the majority of the movie sharing the screen with only the voice of Scarlett Johansson and he does so with such ease, making you fully believe and feel for his character. More important than that, he sells you entirely on the plot, no matter how out there it gets from the get-go.

NFL Week 5 Fantasy Football Start ’em or Sit ’em- by HefferBrew

It’s been a bizarre season so far in the NFL with unlikely stars stepping up to shine. We’re back to help you keep tabs on all your fantasy favorites as well as the best unlikely bets to stand out this in Week 5.

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Eli and Peyton Manning rap about “Football On Your Phone”

Needless to say, Team HefferBrew is excited for Football Season 2013 – but the Manning brothers might have us beat with “Football On Your Phone”

Without further ado let the seasons hilarious football entertainment videos officially commence (sorry RG3, but no.) Enjoy.

At least we have an idea of what Peyton Manning will be up too after retiring.

Craptastic NFL Player Power Rankings: Where We’re Yelling From The Rooftops For Tebow Time – By Cameron Heffernan

It’s that time again, the weekly rankings of the worst players in the NFL. Also known as, Mark Sanchez, this is your life.

From bittenandbound.com

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Saturday afternoon wrestling

In this new weekly feature, the editors and writers at HefferBrew pick a specific wrestling video that exemplifies the best that professional wrestling has and had to offer.

Today we take a look at one of the bigger upsets in Monday Night Raw history, as well as WWE history. Cameron sits down with this classic footage and provides you with a play-by-play of the action. Here in are first installment, we present to you…

Razor Ramon vs. The Kid

00:2 – Right off the bat you have a very robust woman with a sign that say “we be RAW”. Nobody wants to know how raw you are right now fat-lady, just go get some baby powder then.¬† Continue reading